Do You Dream of Getting Married? 3 Questions to Rekindle Your Dream

Jun 29

Most little girls dream about their wedding day. And then one day, some of us stop dreaming. The dreaming stops because we stop believing in our dreams. As the years go by, we become less curious about possibilities and instead slip into the grind of life. Asking questions is a great way to rekindle the dream.

An Unromantic Question

Let’s begin with a rather unromantic question. Why is it that when it comes to going after any other dream, it seems you are super clear on what you need to do to get it.

Maybe you do some research, you make a list of to do’s, you anticipate some obstacles and you pre-plan how you will work around the obstacles and you go after your dream!

But, when it comes to planning a wedding, one of the steps to getting married, you wait. Sometimes, you don’t even allow yourself to entertain the idea of wanting to get married.

Planning a wedding and getting married is different than planning a dream vacation or anything else. Because it is such a big dream. A dream that will transform your life for years to come, if not forever.

What are the reasons you have stopped dreaming about getting married? The answers can seem painful, but they are worth knowing. The pain actually lies in the not knowing!

A More Romantic Question

Now, consider the second question. Why do you want to get married? One of the things that you want is companionship. You want to share your life with someone. Someone who will be your partner in the day-to-day aspects of life – from bouncing off decisions about which new appliances to get, to who is going to mow the lawn this weekend. Someone to share the mundane with.

Also, someone to share the world with through travel. Someone to sit down with at the end of the day to reminisce about the sights you saw, or the crazy fun lunch place you found, even simply sharing the view out the hotel window.

And you want to get married to enjoy human touch. The touch of another human holding your hand as you walk into church or in to a movie. His hand on the small of your back as you walk through a crowd. His hug when you both arrive home at the end of the day. His kiss goodnight. And all the other yummy physical touch that can be in a marriage.

I believe that with any dream you have, one key to realizing it is to understand why you want what you want. What is your why? Know that answer before you answer the next question.

The Brave Question?

When you know why you want to get married, you are prepared to ask yourself the third question, the brave question that your brain is dying to answer…what are the obstacles between you now and what you want?

This is something your brain is really good at…telling you all the reasons why what you want is a stupid idea, why it will never happen and why most of all why it won’t happen for you.

Now you can see why it was so important to know your why before you ask this question. Your brain is going to try to talk you out of wanting what you want. Arguing with your brain won’t help.

Instead, I encourage you to go ahead and listen to that part of your brain. Don’t shut her down becoming angry or depressed by what she thinks are the reasons that you can’t have what you want.

Just listen. But actively listen. Grab a piece of paper and write down all the obstacles your brain is offering up as to why you can’t or shouldn’t plan your wedding and get married. Write it all down. Even challenge your brain to cough up 25 obstacles!

Rather than using your list of obstacles as evidence that you can’t or shouldn’t have what you want, thank your brain, as you are now one step closer to making your dream your reality.

Yes! That list has actually brought you one step closer to wearing that wedding dress you have picked out.

You now have a clear list of the obstacles that are between where you are right now and where you want to be. Let’s not be mad about it. Let’s be thankful.

With that list of 25 obstacles in front of you, you are actually now one step closer to getting engaged, planning your wedding and getting married. Because, you now know what the obstacles are and so you can plan your strategy to overcome each obstacle. Overcoming each obstacle, one by one, will get you what you want. Each of those strategies is another step closer to your dream becoming your reality. One step at a time.

So Sexy and Romantic!

Now this may sound very unromantic and perhaps even daunting. Maybe, but I don’t think so. You want to get married. What is wrong with mapping out how you are going to get what you want? Are you willing to map it out, like you map out how you are going to achieve the promotion you want, or run that marathon or any other dream that you have? Just because it isn’t very storybook, fairy tale like or super romantic…doesn’t mean it won’t work and isn’t worth doing.

I argue that it is romantic and rather sexy for you to go after your dream. To see what is between you and there and then plan how you are going to get what you want. That is sexy. That is romantic.