Who’s in Control of Your Happiness? (Spoiler: It’s You)
Have you ever had a moment where you thought, “I can’t believe that just happened”? That was me last week. I had the incredible opportunity to be coached 1:1 by Brooke Castillo. Yes, Brooke Castillo—my mentor, teacher, and the woman whose work has transformed my life. For many of her students, this is a bucket-list dream, and it was mine too. Here’s how it happened and what I learned that could help you too.
How I Made It Happen
I’d been monitoring Brooke’s coaching schedule for weeks. When a live call fit my schedule, I immediately put it on my calendar. That morning, I made sure I was camera-ready and logged in early. When the call began, I raised my Zoom hand, dropped my question in the Q&A, and silently screamed, “Pick me!” And then it happened. Brooke said, “Let’s go, Sharon!” I squealed (loudly) and dove into my question.
The Lesson That Changed Everything
I told Brooke I was upset with my stepdaughter. I wanted her to act differently—the way I thought was “right.” Her behavior toward her dad felt hurtful and frustrating to me. On one hand, I was angry. On the other hand, I felt conflicted because Jesus teaches us to love our neighbors—even stepdaughters who “do it wrong.”
Brooke asked me a powerful question: “Why does your stepdaughter have so much power in your life? What is that about?” That stopped me in my tracks. The truth is, she doesn’t have any power over me—unless I give it to her. My feelings—frustration, anger, or joy—are created by my thoughts, not her actions. She isn’t “making” me angry; my thoughts about her behavior are creating that anger.
Who Do You Want to Be?
Brooke followed up with another profound question: “Who do you want to be in this family?” I love my husband, and he loves his daughter. So, who do I want to be as her stepmom and as a grandmother to her children?
This reframed everything. Instead of focusing on how I wanted her to change, I shifted my attention to who I want to be. I want to evolve into the best version of myself—moving from my human nature to my divine nature, as God intends. That evolution doesn’t depend on anyone else—it’s entirely up to me.
This shift is liberating. It means my stepdaughter has no control over how I show up or whether I evolve. I get to decide that. And so do you.
Why Coaching Matters
You might wonder, “Sharon, you’re a coach—couldn’t you figure this out on your own?” While self-coaching is powerful, there’s something transformative about having a coach. A good coach holds space for you, free of judgment, and helps you see your own thoughts with clarity. Friends may validate you, but a coach challenges you to grow.
Brooke helped me see that my “problem” wasn’t my stepdaughter. The real work was examining my thoughts and deciding who I want to be. This kind of insight is hard to achieve alone because we’re too close to our own thoughts. A coach offers the perspective and tools to help you create the life you truly desire.
Manifesting the Coaching Session
The second reason my time with Brooke was so amazing? I manifested it. I wanted it, believed it was possible, and took inspired action to make it happen. As I teach in my coaching, this is how you attract what you want. You align yourself with your desires, take the next right step, and let things unfold.
The Takeaway
Life is full of people—8 billion of us, to be exact. Some will delight you, and others will disappoint you. But no one else has the power to determine how you feel or who you become. That power belongs solely to you.
If you’re struggling with someone in your life—a parent, partner, coworker, or friend—ask yourself: “Why does this person have so much power in my life?” and “Who do I want to be in this situation?” The answers to these questions can change everything.
My story is living proof of what’s possible when you take ownership of your thoughts, invest in coaching, and commit to your own evolution. If I can do it, so can you. Let’s move toward a life full of love, growth, and self-confidence—one thought at a time.