The Hidden Truth About Love: How to Feel Loved This Valentine’s Day (Without Waiting on Anyone Else!)

The Hidden Truth About Love

Valentine’s Day is often a tough one for single women. It can feel like a loud, flashing sign pointing out your relationship status—SINGLE. And if that wasn’t enough, your brain jumps in with a highlight reel of thoughts like, You’re all alone. You’ll always be alone. Another year and still unloved.

And those thoughts? They create feelings—loneliness, hopelessness, sadness, even worthlessness. And then, from those emotions, you act accordingly. Maybe you withdraw. Maybe you scroll endlessly, binge Netflix, or eat ice cream straight from the carton. And before you know it, another Valentine’s Day has come and gone, reinforcing the same painful story: Love is for other people. Not for me.

But what if this year was different? What if you could feel love—real, deep, fulfilling love—without waiting for someone else to give it to you?

I want to tell you a story that reveals a truth about love no one ever talks about. A truth that, once you understand it, will set you free.

The Moment I Realized Love Was Different Than I Thought

When I was dating my now-husband, Fred, we were in a long-distance relationship. One February, it was his turn to travel to Las Vegas to see me. And wouldn’t you know it—he arrived on Valentine’s Day! I had planned the perfect romantic dinner. The ambiance was perfect, the food was amazing, the conversation was great.

But one thing was missing: Fred didn’t tell me he loved me. And up to that point, he never had.

The next day, as we sat together on my couch, he suddenly shifted and said, “There’s something I need to tell you.” My heart sank. He’s about to break up with me, I thought.

But instead, he looked at me and said, “I am in love with you.”

And while I was happy to hear those words, I didn’t feel the overwhelming rush of love I had expected. I wasn’t suddenly more loved because he said it out loud.

That’s when I realized something huge: When Fred said, “I am in love with you,” he was expressing his feeling. Love was something happening inside him. It didn’t jump off of him and into me.

No one ever tells us that.

We grow up believing that in order to feel loved, someone has to give it to us. But that’s not true. Love is a feeling—one we create within ourselves. And that means we can feel love anytime we want to.

Isn’t that beautiful?

This also means that if someone doesn’t love you—whether it’s a parent, an ex, or someone who walked away—it’s not a reflection of your worth. It simply means they lacked the ability or capacity to love in that moment.

You have always been lovable. You will always be lovable. Period.

Three Strategies to Feel Love This Valentine’s Day

So, if love is something you create, how do you start feeling it? Here are three strategies to make this Valentine’s Day full of love—no partner required.

1. Tell Someone Else You Love Them

Love grows when you give it. So why not be intentional about sharing love this year?

Make a list of friends, family members, or mentors who have impacted your life. Buy some Valentine’s cards and write a heartfelt note to each one, telling them what you admire about them, how they’ve influenced you, and how much you love them.

Giving love in this way feels amazing—not just for the recipient, but for you. You will literally feel love as you write, as you give, as you express appreciation. And the best part? No one is expecting it. You get to surprise someone with love and remind yourself in the process: I have the ability to love.

2. Tell Yourself That You Love You

Loving yourself isn’t just a nice idea—it’s essential. And yet, we often put it last on the list.

Here’s a simple but powerful exercise: Every day for the next 14 days, write down one thing you love about yourself. Use sticky notes and put them on your bathroom mirror.

At first, it might feel awkward. But by the end of two weeks, your mirror will be surrounded by reminders of why you’re amazing.

Or, if you want to take it further, write yourself an email. List out everything you admire about yourself, what makes you proud, and why you are lovable. Then, schedule it to be sent to yourself a few months from now—maybe on a day when you know you’ll need the reminder. When it pops up in your inbox, it’ll be like receiving a love letter from past-you to future-you. And trust me, it’ll feel incredible.

3. Decide Now That You Are Worth It

This is the biggest one.

You have to decide—right now—that you are worthy of love. Not later. Not when you hit a goal, lose weight, or meet someone. Now.

We chase love because we think that once we find it, then we’ll finally be enough. But you already are.

This isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a practice. When you decide you are worth it, you show up differently. You invest in yourself. You care for yourself. You love yourself the way you’ve always wanted someone else to.

And that, my friend, is how you make this Valentine’s Day your most love-filled one yet.

You don’t have to wait for someone else to love you. You can choose love today. 💖