How Are You Spending Your Time Being Single?

I’ve been thinking a lot about time lately.

It’s weird when you really stop to consider it—how every day, we wake up with a fresh batch of minutes, hours, and moments to spend. And once we spend them? They’re gone. There’s no saving them up for later. No making more.

And yet, so often, we don’t really think about how we’re spending our time. Especially when it comes to being single.

So let me ask you a question: How do you want to spend your time being single?

Not how do you wish you had spent it? Not how do you think you should be spending it?

But right now, in this moment—how do you actually want to use the time that’s right in front of you?

Why We Spend So Much Time Looking Back

When I was a little girl, I didn’t think much about the past. I was too busy dreaming about the future—about who I could become and how I wanted to spend my time.

But somewhere along the way, that flipped. Instead of looking ahead, I started spending more time looking back. Thinking about things I wished I had done differently. Regretting choices. Worrying about whether I was on the “right” path.

And you know what? That’s a terrible way to spend time.

Because here’s the truth: Your past is over. You can’t go back and edit it. You can’t return minutes you’ve already spent. But what you can do is decide—right now—that your past set you up perfectly for the person you are today. And then? You can focus on what you want to create next.

That’s what we’re talking about today. How to stop looking back and start looking forward. How to use the time you have right now—this season of singleness—to build something incredible.

And to help you do that, I’ve got three strategies for you.

1️⃣ The Top Five List

Let’s start here: What are the top five things you want to experience, create, or accomplish before your single season shifts?

You don’t know how long you’ll be single. But instead of waiting for time to pass, why not use it?

Your list might include things like:
✨ Deepening your connection with God
✨ Learning how to actually love yourself (your love-ability)
✨ Taking a solo trip to Europe because why not?
✨ Getting healthier and stronger in a way that feels good to you
✨ Challenging yourself to go after something big—something that scares you a little

The point isn’t to get it perfect. The point is to stop letting time just happen to you and start choosing how you spend it.

2️⃣ The 50 Wants List

Too many of us spend our time thinking about what we don’t want. What we don’t like. What isn’t working.

But what if you flipped that? What if you got really clear on what actually brings you joy?

That’s where the 50 Wants List comes in.

I want you to sit down and write out 50 things—big or small—that light you up. Things you enjoy. Things that make life feel good.

Maybe it’s…
🌸 Fresh flowers on your table
☕ A slow morning with coffee and a good book
🎶 Dancing in your kitchen like nobody’s watching
🧳 Traveling somewhere you’ve always dreamed of going
🌊 The sound of waves and a salty ocean breeze

This might seem small, but it’s not. If you don’t know what you love, how will you ever create a life that feels good?

3️⃣ Where Are You Going?

Final question: If nothing changes, where will you be in five years?

Where will you be in ten? Twenty?

And are you happy with that answer?

Because here’s the thing: Your life isn’t going to magically become what you want it to be. You have to build it. And that starts with the small, everyday choices you make about how you spend your time.

I’m not saying you need to make huge, dramatic changes overnight. But I am saying that small shifts add up. One tiny decision today can change the entire trajectory of your life.

Think of it like a door hinge—it’s small, but it swings big doors. One degree of change today can lead to an entirely different future.

So take a second and ask yourself: Am I heading in the direction I want to go? And if not, what’s one small adjustment I can make today?

What Does Your Life Say About You?

Here’s something to think about:

When others look at your life, do they know how you’re spending your time?

Are you just passing the days, waiting for something to change?

Or are you an example of someone who is creating her life—someone who is using her time with intention, building something meaningful, and fully showing up for the life she’s been given?

Because at the end of the day, this is your time. And how you spend it? That’s up to you.