Lonely and Wondering if You'll Be Single Forever? Here's What to Do Next

Let’s face it: being single has its ups and downs, and some struggles feel heavier because of your relationship status. Today, we’re diving into two big worries many single women face: feeling lonely and fearing they’ll be single forever. These aren’t just fleeting emotions; they can shape how you see yourself and your future. But there’s good news: you can take actionable steps to move through these feelings and come out stronger on the other side.

Worry #1: You’re Lonely

Loneliness is a tough feeling. But it’s different from simply being alone. You can be alone and feel perfectly content, or you can be in a room full of people and feel deeply lonely. Loneliness comes from how we think about our circumstances, not just the circumstances themselves.

Picture this: it’s Friday night. You’re dateless, the week has drained you, and instead of tackling chores, you’re curled up on the couch. Loneliness creeps in, accompanied by a barrage of negative self-talk: “I’m so pathetic. No wonder I’m alone. I’ll probably always feel this way.” Before long, loneliness morphs into feelings of worthlessness. You’re stuck in a downward spiral, which might lead to soothing behaviors like overeating, impulse shopping, or zoning out. And when the night ends? The loneliness is still there, compounded by guilt or disappointment over how you coped.

So, how can you break this cycle?

The Solution: Feel the Feeling

Instead of trying to escape loneliness or layering it with self-criticism, try this: simply feel it. Acknowledge it by placing a hand on your heart and saying, “I’m feeling lonely.” Then sit with the emotion. Breathe. Ask yourself, What does loneliness feel like in my body? What does it look like?

This might sound counterintuitive, but allowing yourself to feel loneliness—without reacting to it—is powerful. It stops the spiral and gives you space to process the emotion. Over time, you’ll build the skill of sitting with tough feelings without letting them control you.

And here’s the truth: loneliness doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or destined to be alone forever. It’s just one of the 3,000+ emotions your incredible human brain and body can experience. By offering yourself compassion, you’re reinforcing your self-worth instead of tearing it down.

Worry #2: You Believe You’ll Be Single Forever

Your brain is a master storyteller, and when it comes to your relationship status, it’s easy to catastrophize. The fact is, you’re single. But your brain might twist that fact into something dramatic: “I’ll never meet someone. I’m too old. I’m not attractive enough. It’s hopeless.”

Why does this happen? Blame evolution. Your brain is wired to look for threats and solve problems. Back in the day, being alone could mean actual danger (like getting chased by a bear). Today, that same wiring kicks in, making your singleness feel like a crisis. But here’s the thing: your brain’s dramatic story isn’t the truth. It’s just a well-rehearsed narrative that feels true because you’ve thought it so many times.

The Solution: Rewrite the Story

Start by being honest with yourself about the story your brain is telling. Set a timer for 15 minutes, grab a pen, and write down every thought you have about being single. Don’t filter or judge—just let it flow. What does being single mean to you? What worries or fears come up?

Now, read your story. Ask yourself: Is this true? Or does it just feel true? Questioning your thoughts activates the logical part of your brain (your prefrontal cortex), which can challenge the dramatic narratives.

From here, take it a step further. Rewrite your story from the perspective of your future self—the version of you who’s thriving and living the life you desire. How would she describe your singleness? Maybe it sounds like this: “Being single has given me time to grow, discover who I am, and build a life I love. I trust that the right relationship will come when it’s meant to.”

The act of rewriting your story shifts your perspective from fear and lack to hope and abundance. And it’s the first step toward trusting yourself—an essential element of self-confidence.

Building Confidence, One Step at a Time

The worries of loneliness and lifelong singleness are real, but they don’t have to define you. By learning to feel your feelings without reacting to them and challenging the stories your brain tells, you’re building the kind of self-confidence that changes everything.

Confidence isn’t about never feeling lonely or always having a perfect plan. It’s about trusting yourself to handle whatever comes your way and knowing that your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status.

So, the next time loneliness hits or your brain starts spinning dramatic tales, pause. Breathe. Remind yourself: I’m capable of feeling this. I’m worthy, no matter what. And I have the power to rewrite my story.

You’ve got this. Your single season isn’t a problem—it’s an opportunity to grow into the confident, thriving woman you’re meant to be.