Five Secrets to Living Happily Single in the Church of Jesus Christ

DATE

Take yourself out on a date every week.  Treat yourself well by planning intentionally.  It’s okay to wing it now and then but treat yourself well by planning ahead and enjoying the anticipation of the upcoming date.  Pick a movie, a concert, a new restaurant to try, a play or performance, picnic in the park, a lecture.  Go by yourself or invite another single or couple to join you for date night.

TALENTS

You have been gifted with at least one talent that your church family needs – I dare say, probably many talents.  Let people know what it is that you are good at, what problems you can help solve, what value you can offer.  Make an appointment to meet with your Bishop or Pastor and woman leaders and let them know how you can help, what you have to offer and ask to be put to work.  Volunteer to help on committees, at church parties, with service projects.  When the sign ups come around – sign up.

PLAN

Plan adventure.  Plan fun.  Plan learning.  Plan development.  Plan growth.  Regularly.  Make a list of places you want to go.  Things you want to do.  Topics you want to learn about.  Skills you want to develop.  Talents you want to develop or try for the first time.  People you want to meet.  Plan them.  Calendar them.  Invite someone to join you, or not.  Maybe tap into a group who is already going where you want to go; doing what you want to do; learning what you want to learn; teaching what you want to develop or try.  Jump in and join them.

HELP

Ask for help.  Ask for the help you need and then allow others into your life by letting them help you.  Consider being vulnerable with those you serve sharing with them your goals, your struggles, your hopes and dreams.  Allow them to listen and learn about you.  Allow them to offer help, hope and friendship.

Ask to help. Become involved in the lives of those you serve by offering to help them.  Listen to and learn about them offering them help, hope and friendship.  Slow down and notice what is going on around you.  Look for opportunities where you can help right then and there.  Is there a mom sitting alone at church who could use another set of hands to help with her little ones?  Where is the lonely sister or brother who would enjoy someone sitting with them?  Who can you offer to pick up on your way to church or the picnic?

SAY “YES”

Opportunities await.  One way to find them is to talk with your Heavenly Father daily and ask Him to help you see the opportunities that await you.  He will send you messages as thoughts, nudges and ideas.  Say “yes” to them and then go and do.

Say “yes” to all invitations.  All. Yes, all.  When a family or others invite you over to join them for family night, or a Sunday scripture discussion, say “Yes!”  When you are invited to join the church choir, say “Yes!”.  Whatever the invitation, say “Yes!” and mean it.  Saying “Yes!” gives you opportunities to learn more about yourself and your church family and to fall in love with them.

BONUS

Date God Every Day.  Spend time in his word and in conversation (prayer) with Him daily.  Be intentional in your relationship with Him.  Pick a time to be with Him.  Then show up and talk to Him.  Tell Him what is in your heart.  Be specific about what you need, want and struggle with.  Talk with Him about it. Ask Him for help and guidance.  Tell Him what you are happy about.  Tell Him “Thank you” for the goodness in your life.  Then, stay still, be quiet and listen.  Hear Him through his word as you daily read the scriptures.  Listen to, read and re-read talks and counsel from church leaders.  You will find his answers and direction as you listen in scripture and at church or during conferences, in the talks, sermons and music.  Promise.