Drama vs. Facts: The Secret to Clearer Decisions in Singleness
Let’s get real: navigating singleness can feel overwhelming. Questions like “Why am I still single?” and “What’s wrong with me?” can send your mind into a spiral. But what if I told you that those dramatic thoughts aren’t helping? And even better, what if you could quiet the drama and instead focus on the facts of your life to find clarity and purpose?
This is your season to step into clarity and power. Today, we’re diving into how you can sift the facts of your life from the drama to make decisions that honor your purpose and potential.
Drama vs. Facts: What’s the Difference?
The first step in moving forward is recognizing the difference between the facts of your life and the drama your brain creates about those facts. Here’s an example:
Fact: You are 35 years old and single.
Drama: “I’m 35 and still single… something must be wrong with me. I’ll never meet anyone!”
See the difference? Facts are neutral. They’re provable. Drama, on the other hand, is all the negativity, fear, and overwhelm your brain adds to the mix. And guess what? Drama keeps you stuck. It triggers worry, confusion, and self-doubt—the perfect recipe for inaction.
Why Drama Feels So Real
Your brain is wired to look for problems and solve them. It thinks, “If I can just figure out what’s wrong, I can fix it.” But when it comes to singleness, this problem-solving mode often creates more problems. You start interpreting your singleness as a failure or a punishment rather than the season of growth and opportunity that it truly is.
This doesn’t mean your desire for love or companionship isn’t valid. It’s about shifting your perspective. When you see singleness as a fact rather than a problem, you free yourself to focus on what’s possible—not what’s “wrong.”
How to Separate Facts from Drama
Here’s a simple exercise to help you sift through the drama and uncover the facts:
Write it down. Take a piece of paper and write down everything swirling in your mind about your life right now. Don’t hold back; let the drama flow.
Circle the facts. Look at your list and circle what is provably true. For example, “I am single” or “I’m 35” are facts. “I’ll never find love” or “Something is wrong with me” are not facts—they’re drama.
Challenge the drama. For every dramatic thought, ask yourself: “Is this true?” Most of the time, the answer will be no. Replace these thoughts with ones that empower you. For example, replace “I’ll never find love” with “This is a season of growth and preparation for the love I desire.”
Make decisions from the facts. When you’re clear on the facts, you can make purposeful decisions. Instead of wallowing in “Why is this happening to me?” you can ask, “What can I do today to create the life I want?”
Your Purpose in Singleness
Once you’ve separated the facts from the drama, you can turn your attention to your purpose. What is God calling you to do in this season? Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Translation: Without a vision for your life, you stay stuck in drama.
God has equipped you with spiritual gifts, passions, and strengths that are unique to you. Your purpose in this season isn’t just to “get through” it—it’s to step into those gifts and use them to create a meaningful, joy-filled life.
Start by asking yourself this question:
“Given all that God has gifted me and all I’ve learned from my experiences so far, what is my purpose in this season?”
Write down your answer. You might be surprised by what comes up.
Love as a Universal Purpose
One purpose that applies to all of us, regardless of our season, is love. Use this time to develop a deep, unconditional love for yourself. Love yourself enough to take risks, step out of your comfort zone, and pursue your dreams. When you love yourself fully, you’ll be better equipped to love others—whether that’s a future partner, your friends, or your family.
Take Action
You have the power to quiet the drama and focus on the facts. This week, try the fact-versus-drama exercise and start making decisions from a place of clarity.