Thinking About Moving to Find Love? Consider These 4 Truths BEFORE Making Your Decision

Wherever you live are you looking around at the eligible men and thinking the pool is kind of shallow?  Thinking that “all of the good ones are taken.”  And then your creative and problem-solving brain offers up the idea, “Hey, maybe I should move.  The pool must be deeper somewhere else.”  Even thinking that “all the good ones are over there.”  Perhaps you have even prayed about it.  Maybe even gone hungry – fasting to be led by God to know not only if you should move but where you should move to.

In this blog post you will be invited to consider 4 truths BEFORE you make a decision to move.

Truth #1: You might be about to play wack-a-mole

Let’s say you decide to move.  You are going to quit your job, pack up your stuff, and move to ‘wherever’ because you have decided that is what you should do and where you should go to find love.  And then you get there and, drum roll please, the pool isn’t as deep as you thought it was and right before you got there the last good one was taken. 

Now what?  Quit your job, pack your stuff and move to the next place where you are sure you will find love?  Well, you could.  That is certainly an option.  And if it is the option, you want and feel in your bones you should try, then I say – go for it! 

I offer up that you consider that that method of finding love is a bit like playing wack-a-mole. 

“I thought he would be in Utah.  Dang it – he isn’t.”  Wack!

“Maybe he is in California.  Nope, not there either.”  Wack!

Now don’t get me wrong.  I am not making light of this method of finding love.  I just want you to consider that it could turn out to be a costly and long way around to find what you are looking for.

Now if you want to move from where you are to another place for more reasons than hoping you will find love…do your homework, study it out in your mind, heart, finances, opportunities and do it.  But if it is only to find love, consider that you might be about to play wack-a-mole.

Truth #2: Your brain goes with you

If you decide that you are going to move to find love and decide to pack up the stuff you want to take with you and leave behind what you don’t want to take…remember, you will be taking your brain with you.

Period.  Yes!  Your brain will be going to the new place too.

Now you may be saying…”well of course my brain will go with me.  It’s in my head!”

What I am saying is that…

Whatever you believe about yourself right now wherever you live – that belief will go with you to the next place.  You will meet the self you left when you arrive in the next town.  If you are currently believing that you will never find love where you are – you will not find it there.

Whatever you believe about the pool of men wherever you live now – will go with you to the next place.  If the pool is shallow and all the good men are taken where you live now – it will be the same there.  You will see a shallow pool and the good men holding someone else’s hand.

Ask yourself this question and then journal about it…what about your life will be different if you move?  What about your life will be the same if you move?

Somethings will be the same and some different.  Are you willing to move because of what you think will be different?  What about the things that will be the same – they will be there. 

My point is – unless you clean up the beliefs you are holding on to in the town you live in – they will go with you to the next town.  No matter how fast you drive, how many times you move – your brain and beliefs will go with you…they will meet you there.

I would recommend – changing your mind – your beliefs – before you move.  Do the work now.  It will need to be done at some point.  Better to do it now than keep moving chasing love and trying to outrun your own brain.

Truth #3: You made the right decision

Again, I don’t know if you should move somewhere else to find love.  But what I do know is once you decide – decide that you made the right decision and then treat it like the right decision.

If you decide to stay right where you are – decide that you made the right decision and make it the right decision.  If you decide to move – decide that you made the right decision and make it the right decision.

What do I mean by make it the right decision?  Go all in!  No looking back.  No rethinking your decision…at least for a year.  Give yourself some time.  It will take time.  So, give yourself the time.  Decide that you made the right decision and then every single day – look for proof that you made the right decision. 

And live like you made the right decision.  Believe in yourself like you made the right decision.  Praise yourself, pat yourself on the back for making the right decision.

Whatever you decide – move or stay – have your own back.  Decide now that you will only treat yourself and talk to yourself in a loving and supportive way.  You will not belittle yourself, call yourself silly, stupid or anything else that is a lie.  You will only love on and support yourself.

Truth #4:  You still need to move

You will need to move if you move.  What do I mean?  You will need to take action. Moving or staying is only about the location.  Action doesn’t care about the location. 

Perhaps you have an expectation of meeting Mr. Right on a blind date, or randomly running into him at the grocery store, or him walking in to church this coming Sunday and boom there he is! Cue the angelic choir – hallelujah!

That my friends is usually a fairy tale.  Something we were taught as little girls.  Sometimes they happen.  I’ve don’t know any real-life stories like that.  My point is, create your own story.  There is a lot of good things about technology and yes, there are a lot of negative things…but one thing you can choose to see as a positive is the reach of technology.

If you are squeamish about signing up with a dating website or using a dating app – consider for just a moment the reach.  How many men you are leaving out of your dating pool that are just waiting to meet you?  How many men that you can begin communicating with within the next hour?  How many men can learn about you – gorgeous brilliant and magnificent you?  Men are out there waiting to meet you.

The pool is deep – consider using technology to see just how deep.  Move somewhere else or stay where you are – but take action.

Should you move or should you stay?  Good question.  To answer that question, consider the truth that you might be about to play wack-a-mole, that your brain is going to go with you, that you will want to make whatever you decide the right decision and that move or stay, you will still need to move.