3 Sexual Foreplay Tips That Will Increase Your Happiness Level

One of the best ways to discover an answer, solution to a problem, or a path forward is to look at a circumstance from a different perspective.  In this article we are going to look at your marital status, your singleness, from a unique perspective.  Your singleness is foreplay! 

What if where you are right now as a single lady is the foreplay that will set you up for the climax of you getting what you want?  What if the exploration, pleasure and patience that is part of sexual foreplay can teach you something about how to life your life right now?  I believe there is something to learn from sexual foreplay that will help you increase your happiness level right now.

I invite you to consider that your singleness is the foreplay before you climax with what you want being what you have.  Perhaps you are feeling uncomfortable right now that I am presenting to you a different way to think about the time you spend in singleness. 

Stay with me as I unpack this idea and consider it to be one way you can think about and enjoy your singleness.  It is foreplay! 

What is foreplay?

There are really two definitions of ‘foreplay’.  There is the one that you are probably thinking about right now…’erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse’ the second is ‘action or behavior that precedes an event’. 

I want you to consider that your singleness is foreplay in both senses of the word.  It can be erotic and stimulating and it is also the practical actions and behaviors you do while in your singleness.  And in fact, I want you to consider that it can be erotic and stimulating.  Erotic means more than just sex…it has to do with desire as well. 

One thing I already know about this way of thinking is that my analogy of ‘foreplay’ and your singleness is that it is NOT a perfect analogy.  But it is a fun and new way to think about it…which in and of its self is somewhat erotic!  Don’t ya think!  😊

In a lover setting, foreplay is you beginning to explore the other person.  Moving closer to them, touching them, kissing them.  As you do so, you can experience the pleasure of the exploration.  One of the keys to foreplay is allowing yourself to be patient rather than being in a rush to move on to what’s next.   Allowing yourself the pleasure of exploration and being right where you are.

Tip #1: Exploration

Exploring is exciting.  It is in exploration that you begin to make some determinations about what you are enjoying, what you want more of, what you want less of and what you want to stop all together. Let’s put this in the context of your life right now. 

What is it about your life that you are enjoying? 

What do you want more of?

What do you want less of?

And, what do you want to stop all together?

Really use this phase of foreplay to explore your life as it is right now and answer those questions.  Why?  Well, I will tell you from first-hand experience that unless you are intimate with yourself, really willing to understand who you are right now, what you enjoy and don’t enjoy, what you are unwilling to tolerate, before you get married you will have a much tougher time being intimate and expressing those desires. 

While you are single, move in closer to yourself.  Be willing to be intimate and raw with yourself. Be willing to explore the parts of you that you keep hidden, are ashamed of, are embarrassed by, and already know you want to change.  Be real with you now so that when you are with him you are the real you.  Not some watered down, hidden, people pleasing version of you.  The real you.  That comes when you are willing to be intimate with yourself now.  Explore yourself now.

And by exploring yourself as you are right now, you become aware of what parts of your life you want to take with you into your next relationship.  I promise, there are parts of being single that you enjoy and want to take with you.  And there are parts you want to leave behind.  Both are okay and good.

Now you might be thinking, this exploration thing for me is going to be anything but exciting!  It is going to be painful.”  If we were sitting together knee to knee, I would encourage you to do two things: remember that you are worth exploring.  And that what you discover about yourself you really do want to know.  You do.  It is in the knowing that you can move forward.  Secondly, keeping yourself hidden from you only serves to keep you stuck.

Exploration is an exciting part of foreplay!  So, explore yourself.

Tip #2: Pleasure

Another aspect of foreplay is the pleasure you experience.  You can do that now!  You can experience pleasure in your singleness.  Pleasure isn’t reserved for when you are in a relationship.  Quite the contrary.  In any phase of your life, be it singleness, dating, engaged or married, you can experience pleasure.  And you can experience pain.  Both are possible and probable.

You have the power to create how you want to experience your life.  How you feel is your experience.  How you feel is a result of what you are thinking.  If you are thinking ‘My life sucks!  I hate being where I am.  It isn’t fair!” Then your experience of life will be painful and not pleasurable.  

Listen, I get it!  You don’t want to stay in singleness for the rest of your life. But thinking negatively about it will not make it go away and only makes the experience painful.  So, since you are where you are, why not seek to find the pleasure in it while you are in it?!

Choosing to see the pleasure in where you are now doesn’t mean that you still don’t want to find your person and get married.  What it means is that you get to experience pleasure now. 

The skill of managing the story you tell yourself about where you are right now, is a skill that you will need when you are in relationship with someone.  You will want to practice the skill of managing your thoughts now so that you know how to in every phase of your life. 

The truth is you are single.  That is your circumstance.  It is a fact.  And you get to choose how you think about it.  Again, you can think “it sucks!’ ‘You hate it’ or ‘This isn’t fair’.  All of which is a painful way to experience where you are. 

Or you can choose to think about it differently.  What might that look like?  You can choose to think that your life right now is amazing.  You are learning so much.  There are so many opportunities that are easy to seize because you are single so you are going to grab them all.  You can choose to see the blessings that come with your singleness.  When you do that, you experience where you are with pleasure.

There is pleasure in being single.  Choose to see and experience that pleasure.

Tip #3: Patience

The last aspect of foreplay is patience.

If you are operating from ‘rush’ wanting this phase of your life to hurry up and get over with you will not be present and will not be able to experience the exploration and pleasure that we have already talked about.

Ask yourself, what might you be missing out on because you are in a rush to get out of being single?  What growth, development and opportunities are you missing out on because you are in such a hurry?

There is time.  Plenty of time for you to be patient, explore and experience the pleasure of being single.

Again, if you are in a hurry to get out of this phase, I want you to consider that it is because of how you are feeling right now where you are.  If you are thinking you are running out of time, of course you are going to be in a rush.  You will not experience the feeling of patience.  

I invite you to allow yourself to slow down being patient with yourself and the process of being single.  There is growth, development and opportunities that you simply don’t want to miss out on. 

Do you see how your time in singleness is like foreplay?!  It is a time to explore yourself and your life, to enjoy the pleasures that are yours right now right where you are and to allow yourself to live in patience as you grow and develop grabbing the opportunities that are for you right where you are as a single lady.